I begrudge calling this list a top 5 because it's really a list of some of the worst films I've ever seen in my life; most of which don't deserve to be top of anything. Alas, some people enjoy watching bad films just to laugh at how bad they are. Those people should stop just before the top 2 though. At that point, the peculiar people with a love for extreme gore will take over and get their sick kicks. 5. Mexican Werewolf In Texas (2005) Where...

The Tree of Life, starring, most notably, Brad Pitt and Sean Penn, won the Palm d'Or this year, and tells the story of a boy's relationship with his father. The most succinct way of summing up this film is as follows: A brilliantly realistic, emotional story about a young boy growing up with his father, bookended with pretentious nonsense. The first half an hour of this film is a convoluted mess that's supposed to represent the start of the...

Machete is a film by Robert Rodriguez, the man who brought us such things as Spy Kids and the trailer for Machete, about a pissed off Mexican going on a vindictive rampage using 3 weapons in particular: a machete, a machine gun, and his penis. Machete is an ex-federale (That's Mexican for policeman) who gets hired to assassinate a governmental candidate, only to be double-crossed and framed. He then goes and kills everyone. A bit of background...

Never has a title been more misleading. Happiness is a black comedy which revels in making light of the most lurid aspects of society. This is the darkest kind of humour. If you're laughing at anything darker than this, there's a reason you have no friends. The film follows a variety of messed up characters, all of whom are connected in some way, as they face a crisis of sorts in their life. It takes place in a kind of psuedo-world where people...