The summer is upon us, and with it comes months and months of boredom. Here's a list of shows which you can "acquire" to try and kill some time until your life starts again. 5. Testees If you love over-the-top gross-out humour, you'll love this gem of a show. Tragically cancelled after it's first season, the show follows the lives of two friends who make a living from medical testing; often (coincidentally once an episode) with hilarious side-effects. 4....

In light of the tragic loss of Ryan Dunn, I've decided to review this; one of the only proper films he's actually been in. However, like other film reviewers, I won't be going easy due to the circumstances. Roger Ebert. Prick. Oh, I forgot to cough. Would you look at that. Haggard stars Ryan Dunn aka Random Hero, Bam Margera, and pretty much everyone else involved in CKY, and was directed by Bam. It follows the supposedly true story of Dunn trying...

Before I begin, I'd just like to apologise in advance if this review isn't up to the usual standard. I'm writing this just after watching the film and the will to live hasn't returned yet. Sucker Punch is the story of a young girl who's framed for the murder of her sister by her step-dad and sent to a mental institution, which she decides she has to escape from, along with the other girls there, by exploring video-game-like fantasies. Critic:...

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides follows the nation's favourite fancy dress costume, Jack Sparrow, on a convoluted journey to find the fountain of youth. I would try and summarise the story for you but I don't have a clue what happened around 2/3 of the way through. There's so much cutting between locations and changing allegiances, and especially because the film basically follows 4 different groups at the same time, that I genuinely...

  In the interests of respecting the diversity of the audience, this review of Jackass 3.5 will work as follows. I'll offer up my thoughts on the film from the perspective of a film critic. This will then be followed by a variety of summations specifically catered to particular groups within society. It is in this way that I hope I can bring the population closer together and heal the problems of the world. I have extremely high hopes for...

Up is an animated flick from the fine folks at Pixar, about a senile old man who accidentally kidnaps a young boy as he flies his house to South America. The film does not mess about, and chucks you right in at the deep end, to the point where I would say that it moves too quickly. This continues throughout most of the film, with things seemingly happening far too easily, and lots of happy coincidences. If you imagine a film with nice pacing...

Finally got my bum down to the cinema again and decided to check out the latest X-Men offering. This was a decision that I wouldn't say I regret, but only because I got to visit McDonald's while I was out. X-Men: First Class is a prequel to the series, showing the development of the relationship between Magneto and Professor Xavier, framed around the Cold War. At least that's what it's supposed to be about. It's actually about nothing. The plot...

One-Eyed Monster is a comedy (I hope) horror about a penis that will literally smash your back doors in, starring none other than the Hedgehog himself, Ron Jeremy. It follows a film crew who go to a remote mountain cabin to shoot an adult film. Ron Jeremy gets struck by a shooting star and his penis goes rogue and starts killing people. It's basically the male version of Teeth. It's rammed full of dick jokes, and is generally pretty funny,...

Suspiria is a film by the man many call the master of horror; Dario Argento; though I don't quite understand how since this film makes less sense than the Elephant Man's face. It follows the story of a young American girl who moves to Germany to attend a well renowned dance school. There she finds that people are randomly dying, and it definitely has nothing to do with cucumbers. The film is very aesthetically pleasing; with a very interesting...

The Hangover is basically what would have happened if Judd Apatow made Dude, Where's My Car?, sprinkled with little bits of Harold and Kumar. The similarities between this and Dude, Where's My Car are so great that Danny Leiner probably refers to this film as "Dude, Where's My Royalties?", and the frequency I'm going to mention it during this review merits an acronym. The Hangover is about a group of friends who go for a stag night in Las Vegas,...