Before I begin, I'd just like to apologise in advance if this review isn't up to the usual standard. I'm writing this just after watching the film and the will to live hasn't returned yet.


Sucker Punch is the story of a young girl who's framed for the murder of her sister by her step-dad and sent to a mental institution, which she decides she has to escape from, along with the other girls there, by exploring video-game-like fantasies.


Critic: Absolute pile of shit. Seriously, I've seen bad films but this was fucking atrocious. Poor acting; derivative action scenes; confusing, formulaic and quite frankly abhorrent plot; this film has huge steaming piles of them all. This is by far the worst film I've seen this year, and I watched Troll 2 this year. Apparently it's supposed to appeal to gamers, but they'll be severally disappointed since the only control they get is to press play on the DVD menu, and then be treated to a cinematic even Final Fantasy fans would have difficulty sitting through. I've tried so hard to do a proper analytical review of this film but it's impossible. It's like trying to do an autopsy on someone who fell into a wood-chipper.

That review not for you? Try one of these you weirdo.

Cynic: See above.

Moron: It appealed to me on two levels. Things moved and things also made sounds.

Child: I had a dream like this once. When I woke up my bed was sticky.

Old Timer: I'm having a stroke to this film. And not the good kind.

Conservative: I didn't like the way the brown girl was shown to be equal.

Liberal: This was great. It's amazing to see a director cast off the shackles of narrative structure and squirt his undiluted creative juices straight into our eyes.

Stoner: I missed most of it because I was trying to lure the neighbours cat into the washing machine.

Religious: Much like our lord and saviour Jesus Christ, I was crucified by this piece of shit film.

Tween: I totally couldn't make my mind up about this film. Is she Team Edward or Team Jacob?